Creatively Challenged

So, there’s a reason I study art. Because I love it? Well, yeah. Also… because those that can’t do, teach. Or learn, in my case. I lack a lot of hand/eye/brain coordination, much to my chagrin. I’ve never been able to draw. I can’t paint, I’m kind of tone-deaf, and you would laugh hysterically if you saw my attempts at pottery. Even my basic crafting is pathetic and sad. This state of being creatively challenged is a source of much frustration. I so desperately wish to have an inkling of those abilities which I so sincerely admire, but I don’t. Every time I try, I feel like a phony, a pathetic tag-along, like a barnacle on a majestic whale’s ass.

My sister has always been the arts-y one of the fam. She can draw and paint and craft and is just awesome in general at that shit. It causes my inner egomaniac to sink to her knees, shaking her fists in despair over the cruelty of the universe.

And no, writing cannot be it. Because I know waaaaay too may writers that would mop the floor with me. My boyfriend, my best friend, my best friend’s fiance, and several others in my social circle were ALL English majors.

Yet I still try. I still occasionally plug away to find a niche.

In the fall of 2010 I was a fresh-faced graduate. With the same job I had all through college, a looming financial cut-off from my parents, and no pay increase in my near future. I was stressed, frustrated, confused, and BORED. I was job hunting, yes, but more than anything I needed some kind of outlet for my quarter-life crisis. And my creative monster reared her misshapen head and growled to sign up for a photography class at my local community college. I had always wanted to try photography, but, much like blogging, it felt cliché. I mean, you can’t throw a balled-up pair of skinny jeans 5 feet without hitting an indie photo wannabe. I justified it to myself by deciding that no one had to see my inevitable failure. There were always matches. So I took a basic black/white film photo class that fall semester.

This is an archiving of my favorites via iphone. While I still feel like photography is the new black in terms of creative vomit, I enjoyed the class. It’s rewarding to learn something new.

I was thinking of taking a basic intro to digital, but now that I’ve discovered instagram I’m kind of wondering what’s the point?

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