This post is for my best friend, E.
She’s getting married tomorrow evening, and I am her maid of honor. The act of speech giving seems to be up in the air; I don’t know if the best man plans on giving one, and my shy side is whispering to me, ‘well eff that I’m not gonna be the only one!’ So in a way, the pressure’s on precisely because there is no pressure. At one day and counting, my solution is to express my love here. And then maybe read something if the mood strikes me/if I’ve had just the right amount of wine:
Sometimes I find it difficult to express gratitude for those I love so deeply. As soon as I try, this flood of emotion spills forth, all muddled and confusing. It makes it difficult to coherently explain the breadth of your relationship with someone, and how much you appreciate that bond. It’s so convoluted….
I’ve known E since I was 14, although we weren’t best friends right out the gate. Casual acquaintances, more like. We grew closer in high school, through a shared love of Trogdor the Burninator and a mutual hatred of 10th grade pottery class. (Somehow E managed to squeak by with a C, even though she never completed one assignment. That’s the Florida school system for ya). She actually met her fiance at a party at my parent’s house! She taught me how to use makeup/dress with a point, and I introduced her to the kitchen pirates I worked with and dragged her (willingly, I think :)) to their shows in dingy venues and warehouses. We moved in together in college, and so began the bestie bonding as it has developed today…
E has an abrasive side. She’s opinionated, sometimes stubborn, and can be a sassy/verbally loose drunk. Meeting her for the first time is intimidating; her initial impression usually sticks, and if you say the wrong thing she can easily write you off as an idiot (did I mention she’s incredibly smart, with one of the best lexicons of anyone I know?). But once you are accepted into her inner circle…I have never known someone so dedicated to the people she loves. She will do anything in her power for you. She will be there when you need her, day or night, whether it’s a last minute wardrobe crisis or a redeye flight. A most recent ejemplo:
As you know I got out of a long relationship recently. During the initial tumultuousness, I met my now ex for a drink. He had written me a letter, that basically said everything I needed to hear about a year too late. I had built this emotional wall around myself with regards to him, and I thought it inpenetrable. But that was not the case. I started to breakdown in the middle of the bar, and I had to leave immediately. I rushed home to E, almost rear-ending a car on my way there. As soon as I pulled up, she opened the door, her dog Hester in tow, and enveloped me in a bear hug as I soiled her shirt with my uncontrollable sobbing.
I don’t cry in front of people very often. It makes me feel vulnerable. For all me n E’s closeness, (we’ve seen each other naked, pooped in front of each other, discussed all manner of TMI private things) we don’t really cry in front of each other. I guess we’re both a little more private that way. So this episode was profound for both of us. Not only was she the exact person I needed at that moment, but it was an emotionally raw experience that I don’t think anyone has shared with me as an adult. And it meant so much to me that she didn’t say a word, for like 10 minutes. We stood there and she held me, Hester happily doggy-skipping around us begging for attention. Eventually I pulled away and composed myself, a little embarrassed. She brought me inside and promptly served me a prairie dog, tissues on the side. And then we just talked. Because that’s the best part of our friendship, just talking.
That and the plethora of inside jokes we have. (hey E!: Don’t worry about it! I said with a grin! Moobs! That’s not the signal! Remember that time my starbucks straw got stuck in my car window and I couldn’t find it for like 2 minutes?!) Our banter is pretty fun too: we have a seasoned discourse of dry wit and clever puns. I keep meaning to buy a voice recorder, because much like a stoned teenager, I am convinced that if I record our conversations for like 6 months I will find the meaning of life.
There is not a person on this earth for whom I wish more happiness. I love her, and I love her soon-to-be husband. It warms my heart that they have found each other, and I look forward (tearfully now) to knowing and loving them for a long time to come.
In summation, some Haikus:
Me N E always
find the best ways to combine
booze n bestie time.
Hot sauce vodkas can’t
compare to our burning love.
we should get that checked.
Pets. Jokes. LBD’s.
Dancing, Shopping, Darts n Hearts.
No, Yer So bad, E.
PS: E’s the one to blame for my obsession with Community. Next Halloween (I’m going to be out of town for this one, sadly) we’re going as Troy and Abed. (I’m pale as shit, and she’s half Puerto Rican…. try and guess who will be who)….
that’s right, I’m gonna be Troy.
Current Jam: “I Feel Lucky” Mary Chapin Carpenter, cause Me n E ROCK THAT SHIT at Karoake.