I LOVE CARBS.

I am now sharing with you the best cornbread recipe ever. I can’t take credit for this though, I feverishly copied it from an old Barefoot Contessa episode. Regardless, I’ve made it a bunch and I can testify that it is the JAM. Ina Garten does bore me sometimes, though. Her type of food is so classic french-based that it borders on stuffy; I mean, c’mon, yeah I could make everything taste amazing too if I had the money to just throw in a splash of framboise, put raspberries in every dessert, or just grab some lobster on a weeknight. But I love to watch her show because I find it extremely relaxing (Bob Ross does the same thing). It’s something about the way she talks; it’s soft, slightly breathy, and she’s never in a hurry. Her kitchen is always impeccable, with white porcelain everything, a gas stove and the cleanest effing oven you’ve ever seen (although that last one is ubiquitous in all cooking shows… yeah I was kind of a food network whore back when I had cable….) As for Bob Ross, this was my favorite episode of Joy of Painting : I was 17, it was noon in the middle of the summer and my car was in the shop so I couldn’t go anywhere. I sat and watched Bob talk for half of the episode about this baby squirrel he found and had nursed back to health. And then he made some pine trees live in an awkward spot, and I sighed contentedly at the sound of his palette knife against the canvas.

Jalapeno Cheddar Co’nbread:

Whisk the dry ingredients together in a big ol’ bowl:

3 cups AP flour (although I’ll sometimes use whole wheat to lie to myself and pretend that it’s healthier that way, still works fine, may be a little denser though)

1 cup cornmeal

1/4 cup sugar

2 tbsp baking powder

2 tsp salt

Combine all the wet ingredients together in a separate ol’ bowl:

3 eggs, beaten

2 cups milk

2 sticks of unsalted butter, melted

Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and DON’T OVERMIX. Fold in:

1 medium jalapeno, diced (make sure you get rid of all the seeds/ribs

1 bunch of scallions, chopped (reserve some for the topping)

2 cups of sharp cheddar, grated (ditto, reserve some) – this is essentially 1 8 oz block, btdubs.
Let that bitch SIT for 20 minutes. Pour it into a greased 9×13 pan, top it with remaining chi and scallions, and bake for 35 minutes (give or take a few) at 350 degrees.

Then EAT THE SHIT OUT OF IT. You’re welcome.

Current Jam: “The Holiday Song” Pixies

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