Well, that’s not entirely true. More like the sensation of an out-of-body experience. To the point that I can’t string together a coherent narrative this morning. So instead, I give you another LL brain train:
!) I work in a pretty big building. 2 floors, 3 wings. You can hardly find a quiet corner to fart without inadvertently running into another warm body. I don’t consider myself rude… I’m just… internal. But there’s a very “Jimmy Jones”-esque aspect to the work environment here. At least that’s how I perceive it, being from a socially-awkward-beyond-social-media generation. Every time I approach another person in the hallway, I feel obligated to meet eyes with them and produce a sincere smile. A “hey! hope you’re having a great day here at Insurance Company! I know I am!” And god dammit, sometimes I just don’t want to smile at/acknowledge people! I’m not a morning person, I never have been. Maybe that scowl on my face is because I’m philosophizing or trying to hold in that fart because I can’t find a place to let it out! Stop making me feel like a jerk because I don’t want to visually make out with you right now! LEAVEMEALONE!
@) Sometimes, when I’m in the middle of a really satisfying stretch, I feel compelled to make a weird, gutteral noise. We’re talking pushing your limbs to the limit, back arched, silent scream face on… and then you just let. it. out…. yyyaarrrghhhhiijrlkfjlgkn;vjn!!!! I made my desk mate Jeffrey jump this morning. I think I sounded akin to something from Where the Wild Things Are.
#) A lot of my colleagues are getting the sniffles lately which seem allergen-related. We have a nurse on site, who basically tells us to clean our desks with a damp cloth before we leave everyday. That’s all well and good. I actually rub down my desk a lot because I’m a neat freak… but then I wonder, why do we have a cleaning crew?….that reminds me. When I was in non-injury claims, one of my favorite games was to bring in brightly colored glitter and sprinkle it on the carpet in a slightly inconspicuous spot. And then wait to see how long it took for the cleaning crew to vacuum it up. The longest streak you ask? Honestly…. I think the green pile is still there… ew, right?
$) I will occasionally seek out this Zappos commercial because it makes my heart happy.
%) hey, here’s my fridge. Breakdown to follow:
A) The best fortune cookie I’ve ever gotten: “You laugh now, wait til you get home”. Cryptic, no?!
B) My big sis, the hubs, and their 2 doggies, Mac and Nala.
C) My old line boys found this picture in some local magazine and dubbed it ‘Laura, age 50’.
D/E) The photo: the entrance to my parent’s neighborhood (I said consummate V’s! Jeez, guy wouldn’t know majesty if it came up and bit him in the face…). The quote: “All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his” – Oscar Wilde
G) HETERO LIFEMATE: The invite is to E’s wedding, the postcard from her home state West Virginie. Follow the purple arrow for an ooooolllddd photo of us… back when we were thin and had hopes and dreams.
H) Birthday Haiku from my sister:
Laura-loo, luscious lady
will cook up some tasty eats
hot babe, bad-ass chef!
I) I drew that… when I was in a very special mental place… that’s all I’m gonna say… Oh, and my friend gave me an A+++++ on it.
J) My good buddy, surrogate brother H. Carl. He will cook/drink you under a table.
K) Jameson throws all the bartenders in the ‘ville a “Ball” of sorts every year…. I tagged along the last time and promptly called into work the next morning.
L) Paris. Andy Warhol exhibit. Before security made us put away the camera.
One of my favorite parts of moving to a new place is setting up my fridge nicknacks. It’s like the best combo of collage and memory lane. Maybe it’s because I attach so much sensory experience and memory to food… is that fattening?
Current Jam: “Victory” Trampled by Turtles
All of us lonely, it aint a sin
to want something better, then the shape you’re in
the rain came at the break of day
your light in the windowpane, said come on in