Blood and Water…. Or Wine.

So I began this post last night at 1 am:

I’m in Jacksonville. It’s my sister’s 30th birthday – we’ve been partying since 4.

My sister and I have a very special relationship. For example: she asked me to go to the bathroom with her. She had to pee and was wearing a gold sequined miniskirt. It was…. kinda tight, and she needed help un/rezipping it. So I dutifully went, and leaned against the towel rack as we shat the shit…. Until she gasped and looked down.

“what? Did you get your period?”
I asked.

“…no! I just pooped a little!…. I need to poop!”

….so I continued to dutifully lean, nose plugged as she lit match after match, apologizing and laughing simultaneously. It was kind of gross.

Side note: for some unknown reason my male relations and close friends seem to believe it is perfectly acceptable to playfully slap mah bum. I have to constantly berate them for taking such liberty. In the same breath, however, I intrinsically know its not a demeaning gesture. I think because my ass is just so damn prominent, it’s considered a perfectly acceptable substitute for a high five…. Especially if my hands are filled with booze.

“Breakfast at Tiffany’s” -Deep Blue Something.

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