Coming out…

HaHA! Tricked you in to reading at least a portion of my upcoming rant. This is a confession I have hidden deep in the depths of my soul, because I sense the repercussions will be intense. But I can’t hold it in anymore….

Veganism pisses me off. As a person who maintains a passionate love affair with food, I think it is a fucking stupid diet. Now, HOLD ALL QUESTIONS UNTIL THE END!:

I live in a granola-head/indie/college town, so as you can imagine the Vegan population is substantial enough to yield a V-friendly restaurant cult and even a designated carpool (bike pool) lane.  Please don’t misunderstand; as I’ve said before I love my hometown. Despite my mild disdain for this subculture, Gainesvegas will always hold a special place in my heart for its willingness to welcome all beliefs and dietary restrictions into its humid bosom. That being said, at times I feel surrounded by this seemingly obsessive lifestyle and its oftentimes obligatory sense of superiority. And that shit really grinds my gears.

I do not despise all Vegans. I can, in fact, count several V-cards within my social circle whom I find intelligent and lovely. And if that’s the life you choose to lead, I refuse to disown you for it. Here’s the rub: I can’t stand it when I meet a Vegan who immediately decides that I am an uninformed simpleton in desperate need of nutritional guidance. The eagerness to convert resembles a wild-eyed Baptist minister, and that frightens and frustrates me. Do not castrate me simply because Momma likes burgers yo!

Errrgggg! That’s the other thing that drives me bonkers: that simper implying the inferiority of any other diet. The presumption that my guts are filled with toxins and hate-meat. That I am, by my omnivore nature, less healthy than them. And my response? AAA-WWWHAAAAA????

A couple (perfect) examples:

1) When I first encountered a Vegan friend at the ripe age of 14, I innocently asked, “So, what kinds of foods do you eat?” The reply? “Lots of soy.” Even as a naive adolescent I thought, well that’s dumb.

2) I once sat in gaggle of female classmates back in my college days as we debated various diet/exercise combos. My vegan friend piped up and advised that her solution was simple: she ate vegan and rode her bike, and she never gained any weight. She was thin, to be truthful. But her skin was sallow, her hair and nails were brittle, and there was this hint of a sad, lost little child behind her eyes. I agreed with her to be friendly, but inside I thought, no thanks, boo.

3) The Vegan friendly market place: Vegan cheese? Vegannaise? Soy chiken fingers? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. You made your bed, god dammit, now lie in it! You can’t possibly begin to tell me that the processed shit you decide is cheez is better for me than the block I just bought. Ya know, that REAL food that has a mere 5 pronounceable ingredients to your incomprehensible 25.

My solution up to this point has been to hide my highly volatile beliefs, for fear of retribution and offense. I understand that a hardcore Vegan’s beliefs are just as immutable as my own. No longer! I refuse to hide in the shadows, attempting to prevent unnecessary bickering! NOW GIVE ME AN ORGANIC GRASS-FED STEAK. MED RARE PLEASE. WITH BUTTER. LOTS OF BUTTER.

Hey, I fucking love food. I apologize if this has, despite my moderate intentions, completely pissed off my vegan buddies. I understand that you can be just as passionate and can get just as frustrated when someone balks at your dietary preferences. I understand that with much diligence a Vegan diet can provide all the necessary nutrients for a healthy body. I recognize that it takes all kinds. Just treat me with the same modicum of respect, and I promise I’ll go back into hiding  😉

Btdubs, if you haven’t written me off as a total asshole who no longer deserves a millisecond of your attention, or if you agree with me, here’s some resources I love that preach some my foodie ops:

In Defense of Food, Michael Pollan

The 4-Hour Chef, Tim Ferris

Also, get a subscription to Fine Cooking. You’re welcome.

Current Jam: “Jessie’s Girl” Rick Springfield

Let’s Review… 2012

Better late than never, right? (Hey, punctuality was not on my laundry list of new years’ resolutions. Laundry, however, WAS… man I need to get on that).

Photo collage time, of some of my favorite people/memorable moments/random bits of amusement from the latter half of 2012:

Woahs, what a 6 month period. In hindsight, I totally threw some 2013 in there. Oh well, accuracy wasn’t on my resolution list, either.

Current Jam: Walter Meego “Forever”

Proust Questionnaire

Just ‘Cause. It’s raining and kinda chilly. And I don’t feel like working right now:

  1. Your most marked characteristic? I’m just… goofy. What’s an intelligent way to say that?…. *eccentric…*
  2. The quality you most like in a man? intelligence, humor, compassion
  3. The quality you most like in a woman? intelligence, humor, compassion (qualities I admire in people. period.)
  4. What do you most value in your friends? They are always quick with a joke and a hug. I have never met people who can make me laugh like they can.
  5. What is your principle defect? I’m waaaaay too sensitive
  6. What is your favorite occupation? SEX. wait…
  7. What is your dream of happiness? a beach wind, perfect skin/hair, a glass of wine, a loving boy, pets, living next door to my best friends.
  8. What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes? to be old and alone.
  9. What would you like to be? ‘BE’? Happy. Satisfied. Courageous.
  10. In what country would you like to live? I’m cool with living in the US, but I wanna visit EVER’WHERE.
  11. What is your favorite color? blue/gray
  12. What is your favorite flower? hmmm… that’s a difficult one, I love flowers. Probably calla lilies.
  13. What is your favorite bird? Ducks. They’re just so damn cute.
  14. Who are your favorite prose writers? Paulo Coelho, Jane Austen
  15. Who are your favoite poets? To be honest I don’t really read poetry… I know I’ve read a poem or two that spoke to me… let’s just go with “Casey at the Bat” by Ernest Thayer (YES, I had to look up who wrote it. Shut up)
  16. Who is your favorite hero of fiction? ‘ARRY POTTA. no j/k. EDWARD CULLEN….. still kidding…. Yorrick Brown.
  17. Who are your favorite heroines of fiction? BUFFY. ‘Nuff said.
  18. Who are your favorite composers? I’m boring: Mozart, Beethoven, Debussy.
  19. Who are your favorite painters? Degas, Warhol, Vermeer.
  20. Who are your heroes in real life? My late grandmother, Gretchen Libert. I miss her everyday. She was amazing. Also Beyonce. ‘Cause she’s a baller.
  21. Who are your favorite heroines of history? First ones that come to mind: Eleanor Roosevelt. Elizabeth I. (I’m probably going to come back and change this if I think of someone better….)
  22. What are your favorite names? Girls: Kate/Tess/Gwen, for their elegant simplicity. Chloe because it’s fun. Boys: Greg/Will/Troy/Logan.
  23. What is it you most dislike? People who refuse to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions.
  24. What historical figures do you most despise? uhh.. history was always my worst subject…. Hitler. That guy sucked.
  25. What event in military history do you most admire? Oh crap see above, I don’t freakin know.
  26. What reform do you most admire? Roe v. Wade
  27. What natural gift would you most like to possess? I would want to be either multi-lingual, or a BOMB ASS musician.
  28. How would you like to die? in my sleep. boring and pussy, huh?
  29. What is your present state of mind? bored. DUH.
  30. To what faults do you feel most indulgent? Momma will always love her cocktails.
  31. What is your motto? “Hey! Don’t worry about it!” …usually accompanied by a grin.

Aaaannddd I’m goin’ on break!!

Current Jam: “Graveyard Shift” Afroman

Resolution Season.

I know what you’re thinking: UUUGGGHHHH RESOLUTIONS ARE SO CLICHÉ. Know what I have to say to that? LIFE IS CLICHÉ. ACCEPT IT AND MOVE ON.

But in all honesty, I really needed this year to end. I need a new beginning, a fresh start. That’s what makes New Years resolutions so ubiquitous and popular: You can start all over. Everybody gets a second chance. (Alert! Random movie quote! Who’s got me?!)

As 2013 and all its possibilities loom before me, I must admit I’m nervous. I want to be optimistic; in fact I’ve tried really hard to promote that façade. But in reality I’m worried. 2013 has slight failure and unhappiness potential. I have some resolutions, some plans. *BUT* *BUT* *BUT* I’m finding myself seriously lacking in the motivation department, and I have my suspicions as to the causes. Truth moment: I have… an addictive personality. I have some bad habits that I really need to break, but unlike moi 2-3 years ago I can’t seem to force that hammer down, so to speak. I kinda just don’t care… And the thing that bothers me the most is that I don’t know how to overcome this melancholic apathy. Seriously, what happened? Granted, I’ve never been a super disciplined lady. I want what I want when I want it. But at least in the past I had enough shame to restrain myself. At least occasionally…

I feel a mental block that’s never been there before, to my knowledge. I’m normally an extremely introspective person. I know all the dreaded ins and outs of my personality. But right now I almost feel as if I don’t know myself at all. I’ve morphed into something utterly other. I guess it could be a period of growth… I mean you’re not the same person at 20 that you are at 30, unless you’re extremely unfortunate. But isn’t that process more gradual? What’s going on in my brain?! Who am I?!……..

Regardless of my mental confusion, I’m still maintaining some kind of resolution determination as the arduous year begins. I’ve all the basics covered: get my ass back to my regular gym schedge, travel an assload, and save some mothafuckin’ money. *Fingers crossed* In the mean time, I’ve been pondering the suggestions below. If you’re suffering from year end/new years depression comme moi, check this out:

How To Be Happy – Gretchen Rubin – Happiness Project. It may help this new year seem… manageable? Better? More hopeful?

Current Jam: “Welcome Home” Radical Face