¡Ay, caramba!

I’ve done it… I fuckin’ did it… the most powerful tool in tasty technology since goat cheese dude… oh my god fast/easy/NOM chili. It’s an invention, and it makes nonstop deliciousness possible. THINK ABOUT IT MAN!!

Ok, sorry. I’m done. Anyways, yes. I have mastered my mom’s easy-peasy chili recipe. After several tweaks and twizzles, I have finally received an A grade from my Dominican boo (that makes it legit, right??!)

I inhaled this stuff when I was a kid. However, the first time I made it as an adult I realized just how much my mom does not like spicy food. In reality it was a bland base, but a base nonetheless! Plenty of room for… erm…enhancement! Like a dummy though, every time I made it the past few years I forgot (read: I like to drink wine while I cook…) to write down the changes I made; thus, no batch was guaranteed to be consistently amaze-balls. Until now!

Because I love you and I want you to have a happy mouth all the time, I have decided to share:

You will need!

1) a big pot
2) 1 – 1.25 lb ground turkey (that’s right, TURK! Keep reading, just trust me)
3) 1 yellow onion
4) approx 1/2 of a green bell pepper
5) 2 ears of corn, fresh not frozen dammit!
6) 1 can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
7) 2 cans condensed tomato soup
8) some chicken stock for cushion (eeeh… like 1 cup max)

For the seasonin’ part, you will need:
1) 2.5 tbsp chili powder
2) 1 tbs cumin
3) approx 2 tsp salt (or more to taste)
4) 1 – 1.5 tsp cayenne pepper (I like mah chili on the spicy side, so it’s up to you; you can drastically reduce the cayenne or cut it out entirely, although I will judge you… but only slightly, only slightly)
5) a dash, a DASH! of cinnamon
6) 1.5 tbs flour
7) 4 tbs water

Mk, here we go:

First things first: Dice the veggies. In this case, size doesn't really matter.
First things first: Dice the veggies. In this case, size doesn’t really matter.
Next things next: Get yer big pot and put it over medium high heat. You need just a little bit of fat to get the party going (oil, butter, etc...I like to use bacon fat because I'm a porker trapped a more svelte version of a porker.)
Next things next: Get yer big pot and put it over medium high heat. You need just a little bit of fat to get the party going (oil, butter, etc…I like to use bacon fat because I’m a porker trapped in a more svelte version of a porker.)
Give the pot/fat a couple minutes to heat up, then add your turk and diced onion and start brownin away. (be careful of backsplash! I don't want you to burn your dainty mitts!)
Give the pot/fat a couple minutes to heat up, then add your turk and diced onion and start brownin away. (be careful of backsplash! I don’t want you to burn your dainty mitts!)
When the turkey's almost browned, about 2 minutes out, add your green pep and corn.
When the turkey’s almost browned, about 2 minutes out, add your green pep and corn.
Everybody in the pool!
Everybody in the pool!
Once the turk's browned through, add your kidney beans (remember to drain and rinse!) and the 2 cans tom soup. Give it a stir, drop the heat down to medium, and let it hang out for about 5 minutes.
Once the turk’s browned through, add your kidney beans (remember to drain and rinse!) and the 2 cans tom soup. Give it a stir, drop the heat down to medium, and let it hang out for about 5 minutes.
Meanwhile, mix together the chili powder, cumin, cayenne, salt and flour in a small bowl.
Meanwhile, mix together the chili powder, cumin, cayenne, cinnamon salt and flour in a small bowl.
Add the water and stir together to make a paste of tasty.
Add the water and stir together to make a paste of tasty.
add that paste to your chili and hit it with some chicken stock. The paste is what thickens the chili, so I add a little stock just to give it a place to go, knowwhaddamean? Stir till combined and drop the heat to low. Let that bad boy simmer away for about 45 mins.
add that paste to your chili and hit it with some chicken stock. The paste is what thickens the chili, so I add a little stock just to give it a place to go, knowwhaddamean? Stir till combined and drop the heat to low. Let that bad boy simmer away for about 45 mins.
AAAAAAND BOOM! You're welcome. :) Fun fact: too spicy but too late? As you may know dairy is great at cutting spice (chi/sour cream) but you can also add a little sweetness to help cut it, i.e. brown sugar or honey.
AAAAAAND BOOM! You’re welcome. 🙂 (I know, it’s a little blurry, but my hands were shaking from the anticipation of epicurean bliss.)
Fun fact: too spicy but too late? As you may know dairy is great at cutting spice (cheese/sour cream) but you can also add a little sweetness, i.e. brown sugar or honey.

Current Jam: “The Man I Killed” NOFX

One thought on “¡Ay, caramba!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s