Thursday’s the New Friday

First things first: Call this number, (719) 266-2837.

It’s Call N Oates: The Emergency Hall n Oates Hotline. You’re welcome.

Next things next!

The folks at jobstr.com have successfully stroked my ego, and convinced me to do some Q & A for them. So far I’m intrigued; this site is a very cool resource, whether you’re thinking of a career change or you’re just a curious lil’ cat. As you may have gleaned from the title, it is an employment hub of sorts. Approved members can host a Q & A about their job, and you can ask ’em anything about it (within reason, I’m sure). The site covers a buttload of bases: they’ve got a tattoo artist, an EMT, a farmer, contributors to the Onion, an air traffic controller, and even a performer in Cirque du Soleil and a professional (that’s right, professional) bull rider!

Check it out! aaaand if you ever wanted to ask me a question about the glamorous, party-ridden life of a claims adjuster, my screen name c’est la même: LLLawnchair. If you don’t care, that’s ok, I’m not offended. I don’t really care either, el oh el.

Current Jam: “Hurtlin'” American Steel

I Spy

I stubbornly maintain the following. If happiness were conceived in pie chart form, it would basically be broken down as such:

Yes, Facebook and Sex seem to have equivalent values for most people
Yes, Facebook and Sex seem to have equivalent values for most people

The majority of my pleasure moments (orgasms aside) are composed of random observations of my everyday life, whether shared with my loved ones, complete strangers or merely myself. Ya’ll know what I’m talkin’ about: Those times you double-take, you purposely blink twice, you frantically glance around and wonder, did anyone else see that??!

An oldie but a goodie came to my attention the other day. I was paying bills and chugging coffee like a fiend one morning, listening to my alt stash on Pandora. “Bittersweet Symphony” by the Verve made an appearance and my brain train pulled out of the station. I was thrust back in time to my wonder years as a pimply-pale-self-conscious teenager: I began in my high school bedroom, zoomed past the homemade collages, Offspring amd Blink182 posters into the music video for the song, and suddenly bam! There I was, sitting on my living room floor clad in denim capris and a red halter top, nursing a serious chick boner for Ryan Phillipe. Ya’ll remember Cruel Intentions?

Ok, now, does anyone remember this???

There is a scene where the gorgeous Sarah Michelle Gellar pushes herself up onto her plush, boudoir-style sexbed in the midst of a dialogue with aforementioned hottie… and… I don’t know if it’s the lighting in that scene or the camera angle or both, but for a split second the veins in her chest are unbelievably prominent. I mean, like POW! Not like a body builder’s tracks… but a bluish-black widow web just beneath the skin’s surface. It was glaringly obvious for the blink of an eye, and then it’s gone! Never to be seen again… until you rewind it on your VCR… eeewwww I’m old.

I scoured the interwebs to find a still of this, but I suspect that much like Beyonce’s Superbowl halftime performance, it has gone the way of a dryer sock.

Am I crazy?? Does anyone else know what I’m talking about??

*Psh* Know what? Idon’tevencare. Mymomentmydove/movie/insidejoke.

Current Jam: DUH. “Bittersweet Symphony” The Verve

Announcement

I’m gonna go on record and say I don’t really like April Fools Day, especially now, with the ubiquity of social media. Honestly? I’m a gullible idiot most of my days. Listen friends, you have 364 other days to take turns making me feel like a moron. Why do you all have to swoop in in one 24 hour period? It’s just too damn much. My fragile psyche can’t handle it.

I KNEW it was too good to be true! Thanks for dashing my dreams, Google. Jerks.
I KNEW it was too good to be true! Thanks for dashing my dreams, Google. Jerks.
Dammit, Ryan Gosling, when will the world take your majesty seriously?
Dammit, Ryan Gosling, when will the world take your majesty seriously?

Current Jam: “D.J. D.J” Transplants