This entry is a heartfelt shout out to all my LADAYS.
My life is pretty peachy-keen when taken in the grand scheme of things. I’ve got a loving family, a loving boo, loving friends, and I’m pretty sure my car loves me too (if for no other reason than I take her everywhere). I’ve got loves coming out of my ears. But even in the first world, we have trials and tribulations that can be weathered all the easier with a solid support core (corps). Since I believe in karma, I want to maintain that love balance and be there for my mamacitas as much as they have been there for me.
I did not always have such a plethora of lovely ladies on my speed dial. A very anti-social teen, my list of ‘friends’ in the academic sense was miniscule until I entered the restaurant industry in college. There, surrounded by dirty line cooks, I was basically drop-kicked out of my shell. I quickly realized that, although I was intrinsically introverted, I was also constantly lonely. So, I converted to extrovertism, squealching my inner insecurities and replacing them with new band names, house parties and PBR reserves. In short, I loved it! I felt accepted by my surrogate brothers, and, *gasp* dare I say it?, almost cool!
Eventually I learned something about always hanging out with the guys. As accepting and protective as they were, I was still different. Namely, I was a girl. I liked to go shopping, I needed to talk about my feelings, and sometimes I wanted a shoulder to cry on, whether it was PMS or a fight with my sister. And they were not capable of providing that social dimension, nor did they particularly want to. Not that I could blame them; they had girlfriends and wives who already had the monopoly that kind of attention. Simply put, I was always (and would always be) second in line.
It hurt like hell when I understood this universal truth. I thought I hated spending time with girls because in my previous experience they were dramatic, shallow and petty for the most part. I regretted my decision not to cultivate any meaningful female friendships past high school. I felt like a fucking idiot for boxing myself in a corner. For crap’s sake, did I even remember how to make girlfriends??
After some trial and error I slowly built a female friendly social base, and it could not have come at a better time. Shortly thereafter I suffered a horrible break up of massive proportions (we’re talking about 6 years, 5 of which were spent living together, 2 shared pets, oh and did I mention this separation was not mutual?) My girlfriends were my much needed rocks, my drinking buddies, my constant source of comfort or distraction, no matter when or where I needed it. It would have been a much harder year without them.
And now a good friend of mine is going through a very similar breakup: She’s a selfless-to-a-fault sweetheart who wants (and deserves) a grown ass man. Instead of a partner, she feels like a mom. She works, cooks, and cleans with little-to-no help. When finally at her wits’ end (after numerous sane attempts to rectify her unhappiness), she was met with anger and defensiveness. Newsflash bro: If you didn’t realize things were that bad, you weren’t paying attention. When you say you didn’t realize she was that unhappy, you’re simultaneously admitting that you knew she was somewhat unhappy and decided to ignore it.
Needless to say, the girls have been called forth. We’ve banded together once more and enveloped her into our loving arms. Because guys aren’t always awful, aloof babies, but when they are, getting drunk with your ladiiieeeess always helps ease the sadness and disappointment.
Current Jam: “I’m just a girl” No Doubt