Stayin' Golden Since '86
Hoes before Bros.

This entry is a heartfelt shout out to all my LADAYS.

My life is pretty peachy-keen when taken in the grand scheme of things. I’ve got a loving family, a loving boo, loving friends, and I’m pretty sure my car loves me too (if for no other reason than I take her everywhere). I’ve got loves coming out of my ears. But even in the first world, we have trials and tribulations that can be weathered all the easier with a solid support core (corps). Since I believe in karma, I want to maintain that love balance and be there for my mamacitas as much as they have been there for me.

I did not always have such a plethora of lovely ladies on my speed dial. A very anti-social teen, my list of ‘friends’ in the academic sense was miniscule until I entered the restaurant industry in college. There, surrounded by dirty line cooks, I was basically drop-kicked out of my shell. I quickly realized that, although I was intrinsically introverted, I was also constantly lonely. So, I converted to extrovertism, squealching my inner insecurities and replacing them with new band names, house parties and PBR reserves. In short, I loved it! I felt accepted by my surrogate brothers, and, *gasp* dare I say it?, almost cool!

Eventually I learned something about always hanging out with the guys. As accepting and protective as they were, I was still different. Namely, I was a girl. I liked to go shopping, I needed to talk about my feelings, and sometimes I wanted a shoulder to cry on, whether it was PMS or a fight with my sister. And they were not capable of providing that social dimension, nor did they particularly want to. Not that I could blame them; they had girlfriends and wives who already had the monopoly that kind of attention. Simply put, I was always (and would always be) second in line.

It hurt like hell when I understood this universal truth. I thought I hated spending time with girls because in my previous experience they were dramatic, shallow and petty for the most part. I regretted my decision not to cultivate any meaningful female friendships past high school. I felt like a fucking idiot for boxing myself in a corner. For crap’s sake, did I even remember how to make girlfriends??

After some trial and error I slowly built a female friendly social base, and it could not have come at a better time. Shortly thereafter I suffered a horrible break up of massive proportions (we’re talking about 6 years, 5 of which were spent living together, 2 shared pets, oh and did I mention this separation was not mutual?) My girlfriends were my much needed rocks, my drinking buddies, my constant source of comfort or distraction, no matter when or where I needed it. It would have been a much harder year without them.

And now a good friend of mine is going through a very similar breakup: She’s a selfless-to-a-fault sweetheart who wants (and deserves) a grown ass man. Instead of a partner, she feels like a mom. She works, cooks, and cleans with little-to-no help. When finally at her wits’ end (after numerous sane attempts to rectify her unhappiness), she was met with anger and defensiveness. Newsflash bro: If you didn’t realize things were that bad, you weren’t paying attention. When you say you didn’t realize she was that unhappy, you’re simultaneously admitting that you knew she was somewhat unhappy and decided to ignore it.

Needless to say, the girls have been called forth. We’ve banded together once more and enveloped her into our loving arms. Because guys aren’t always awful, aloof babies, but when they are, getting drunk with your ladiiieeeess always helps ease the sadness and disappointment.

Current Jam: “I’m just a girl” No Doubt

3 thoughts on “Ladays.

  1. Wtf Really? Well… I’m the angry jerk this girl is talking about, and I can’t believe that this is on the internet, linked on my ex’s facebook page, not even 3 full days since this even happened.

    Did she tell you how I’ve been on workmans comp for almost 2 yrs because of seriously injuring my back? About how that injury is the direct cause of why it’s so hard now for me to cook and clean and do the things I used to do? Did she tell you how my mother was recently beaten by my stepfather and is now going through a 2nd divorce? About how every time I talk to my mother I find out how this man has ruined her life, and is continuing to try and hurt her in any way he can, yet I can do nothing to help because I live over 1000 miles away? Did she tell you how I lost my job after being injured and then spent months putting in 100’s of applications to try and find another job, yet failed miserably only to be stuck in an apartment with a broken down car I can no longer afford to fix, miserable and in pain every day while she went off to work? Did she tell you that, despite all of that pain and failure, I’m trying to turn my life around by going back to college this fall to make something of myself after losing a job I held for over 3 years? I could keep asking these questions but you know what… of course all of her girlfriends just get a one-sided view of this.

    I’ve only just realized the scope of the depression I’ve been in and I’ve admitted and accepted that I need help with it. I’ve been living in denial of just how sad and introverted I’ve become with all the screwed up things that’s happened to me and my family in the past year. And this depression has now lost me the love of my life… lost me the most amazing girl I’ve ever met… has lost me the woman I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

    So I’m sitting here after yet another sleepless night and I foolishly click her facebook page and see this link on her wall. What bothers me most about this, and the only reason I’m even saying all of what I’ve just written, is your high and mighty attitude and name-calling when “newsflash” YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME. Putting our personal shit up on the internet for your own amusement and I’m the child? It’s hard enough to go through a breakup, and I’m hurting plenty right now… so why, as someone who says she knows the pains of a similar breakup, would you put these cruel things you have to say about me out there for all to see? You may THINK I’m an “awful, aloof baby”… but after reading this I KNOW that you are more awful and cruel than I’ve ever been. Thank you for making a horrible situation even worse.

    1. Hi Paul,

      You’re right, I don’t know you. And you don’t know me. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through and what you’re going through, but frankly this post was not about you. I have a lot of girlfriends in my life, and several of them are going through pretty terrible breakups, which is why I’m purposefully so vague in my posts.


      1. You used some of the exact words she has said to me… If this post is not about me, and the breakup I’m going through, then remove the paragraph that is blatantly referring to me, and my breakup. Reading this hurt more than I like to admit and it is horrible of both of you for having it on her facebook page.

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