Pre-Post FEST Guide for my lovely newbs

Btdubs, GET THE BITSTRIPS APP NOW. I think it's funny. And it's free. Boom.
Btdubs, GET THE BITSTRIPS APP NOW. I think it’s funny. And it’s free. Boom.

So I’m from Gainesville, right? For the past 12 years, Gainesvegas has put on a multi-day punk rock (with some pop punk, bluegrass and acousticness thrown in there for funsies) festival called, appropriately, the FEST. I’ve gone many a time, and in a word, IT’S FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. This year (yay!), several of my lovely lady friends are accompanying me for the first time, to pop their punk rock cherries. They asked me for a blog post to break down the do’s and dont’s, the need to haves and have nots, etc. I apologize if any of this seems unbelievably obvi, but hey, you asked for it!

First off: The Schedge.

I’ve posted my tentative schedule for you, dahlings. Granted, drunken shenans always ensure some kind of last minute change, but these are the bands I would like to see, and I think you might too:

Buuuuut that being said I’m always up for suggestions!

Second, PRE FEST:

1) You’re going to send your immune system for a ride this weekend. Don’t start off drained, ok? Buy a box of Emergen-C’s, 1-2 a day until FEST comes. Include airbornes or vitamins, and eat healthy. DON’T GET SICK OR I WILL BE ANNOYED.

2) SUSTENANCE: Stock up on what you know you’re gonna want/need (because seriously you will NOT want to drive anywhere unnecessary). My list usually includes:

  1. booze of choice and mixers
  2. breakfast food (eggs, bacon, carbs. Fruit?…. eh, I guess)
  3. Energy drinks of choice. (red bull, monster, rockstarr, TEVS)
  4. Hangover meals of choice: mine? banana and a ramen packet. Gross, but effective.
  5. More multivitamins and emergen-c.
  6. Whatever late-night munchies you crave… or put 5 star on your speed dial.

Third, Attire: I always opt for maximum comfort and minimum attention… that’s just how I like to roll in a crowd, in general… anyways:

1) Wear close-toed shoes!! Boots if you’ve got ’em because they’ll protect your feet from the drunk idiots stage diving (see above…)

2) That being said, wear comfy shoes. We venue-hop all night.

3) If you wear glasses, GET CONTACTS. Nothing worse than a fist to the face…. and then glass in your eyes.

4) Don’t wear the band’s t-shirt to the show… god I just hate that.

5) If it’s ‘cold’ this weekend: a scarf or a hat. Don’t bog yourself down with the big coat, you’re just gonna be hot and annoyed. And once you’re drunk you won’t feel the chill anyway.

Accessories:

1) EAR PLUGS.

2) Plastic flask: at least one venue has had metal detectors in the past, and if you’re on a budget… yeah, you knowwaddamean.

3) Your favorite koozie if you’re a beer drinker.

4) Purse: no ‘handbags’, they’re just cumbersome. Something that goes over your shoulder or on your back.

Clever Tips:

1) Write your drink order and your last name (if you start tabs) in sharpie on your hand. Makes it a looooot easier to order a drink while a bands playing

2) GET CASH: There’s a flea market, endless merch booths. You’re gonna wanna buy stuff, and not have to go to an ATM every time. Just pull out a decent amount ($50-100), cause if you try to pull out $20… GIRL, you and I BOTH know that’s not gonna be enough.

3) …This goes without saying but I feel I must iterate: DON’T PICK A FIGHT WITH A GUTTER PUNK. Even if they deserve it. Ain’t nobody got time for that, ya feel me? (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE… lerrrrvvv yoooouuuu)

For my out-of-town newbs:

Places to avoid (driving, being excessively drunk in publics), ’cause of COPS:

1) Major intersections: i.e, university ave and main street, university ave and 13th street (google backroads or have your native friend drive you).

2) 1st avenue at Loosey’s, also near 8 seconds: right by a cop station. Just don’t start anything there, k?

Places to mow:

1) Loosey’s burg: fuckin’ awesome… and they usually have the burg on a $5 special on Sundays too….. also they have my favorite beer on tap at the mo’: Breckenridge Autumn Ale.

2) Bistro 1245: Closer to campus, right across from the Holiday Inn where you register. Pretty cheap, good French Bistro food…. GET THE BUTTERNUT SQUASH BISQUE.

3) Flaco’s: Right next to Durty Nellys. Ropa Vieja with chi. and slather that bitch in sriracha or I lose respect for you. Also can’t go wrong with the guava pastry. Decent Cuban coff here too.

4) Lunchbox: venue and food in one, yay! and yum! Veggie and vegan options too. Just watch out for the bums!

5) Vello’s: Right down the road from the Lunchbox. Not a venue, food is merely ok, but they have the best happy hour in town, in my humble opinion. Aside from bottles of wine and bottles of beer, everything is half off. Shit, top shelf, everything. Ever’day. 3-7 pm.

Ummm….. That’s all I can think of right meow…. here’s the web site if you need actually helpful info 😛 (oh yeah, they totes have an app you can download, super helpful in organizing your schedule).

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