So, like, I’m still a single lady these days (please refrain from inserting Beyoncé reference here). I still talk to Mr. Red on the regular (like ever’day) but the discussion regarding, erm, the ‘definition of the relationship’ (YUCK I hate those conversations) made it apparent that exclusivity was not on the table at present. At the time I was all, ‘huh, ok…. bummer. Well, now what?’ I explored Tinder a few days later, ya know, for shits n’ giggs. I took my typical stance as of late and figured, ‘I’m here for the summer and that’s it, so why not have some fun?’ Surprisingly, much easier said than done….

I’m not sure if my experience to date is an accurate reflection of the male mentality here, but wow talk about a bunch o’ lazybones. There aren’t that many in my age group to begin with (Sarasota’s essentially q-tip camp), and those that are… well, they all seem pretty aloof. Like, in every way possible. They seem to fall into one of two extremes: they either go to the trouble of starting a conversation with me, only to drop off a day later, or they lead with the blatant ‘yo let’s fuck’ attitude, always so flattering *rolls eyes*. I prefer at least a lil’ romancin’ first right? Does it say DTF on my profile? Nowhere? Then maybe you should rethink your opening line bro….. ugh, ya know what nevermind. You just made the sifting process that much easier, keep doin’ what yer doin’.

However, there is another side to this coin. I have to acknowledge that my usual boy-crazy tenacity has definitely dwindled lately. I’m just… not super into it right now, and it probably shows. Dating can be just… exhausting. Mr. Red made it clear to me that I had no obligations this summer, but truthfully the thought of expending energy just to meet mediocre dudes is so unappealing. It’s a surprising development for me, someone who has always had boys on the brain. Traditionally they’ve been a constant, weaving through my romantical fantasy realm alongside dreams of travel and rockstar status. I’ve never not had some sort of ‘crush’. But these days? I’d rather binge watch Orange is the New Black and make spotify playlists for my sunset beach walks than put on concealer and a pushup bra.

There’s only one downside. I have the biggest itch. Like, monstrous itch. Seriously, ya’ll HAVE NO IDEA. *starts scratching the side of her chin compulsively like a jonesin’ crack addict* I’m a passionate woman, gawddammit. I’ve got major needs right now… mmmfph aaarrrghhhh! *runs off to consume massive amounts of chocolate*

Current Jam: “First Defeat” Noah Gundersen

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