In my defense, he asked me to.
So, a couple years ago I went through a phase… a punching phase. As you may suspect no, it was not cute. I have since retired my fists of justice; however, occasionally the opportunity presents itself. When it does I generally take it, because that sensation is intensely gratifying. Here’s a couple of tips the next time a drunk guy asks you to slap the shit out of him:
1. Form: stand with feet hip distance apart. A swing with this much enthusiasm requires balance. If you’re wearing long sleeves, gloves, etc, remove all possible hand-to-face obstructions. Whichever hand you choose to go sailing through the air, make sure your palm is open with fingers slightly bent, much like you would before a high-five… to the face.
2. Aim: ideally for the fat part of the cheek. That’s the sweet spot, and the spot that makes that satisfying *POP* when it gloriously hits home.
3. If you opt for a countdown, never make it to the count of 3. You want to surprise them.
4. Immediately step back afterwards and be prepared for post-slap retribution. Often, what we think is a good idea, in the aftermath, is not. Never forget what the five fingers said to the face. If you do, that may mean you’re next.
5. If and when the fear of restitution has been eclipsed, go in for the hug, because what a great sport!
Current Jam: “The Burn” The Ones to Blame